The Porn King

So one of our regulars happens to be one of the biggest Porn Producers in Los Angeles, he is one of my least favorite customers for a number of reasons...

1. He creeps me out
2. He usually has an onslaught of creepy girls or should i say "actresses" with him, most of which are Eastern European and cant speak English.
3. He creeps me out
4. He places the most complicated overly fussy orders known to man
5. Did i mention HE CREEPS ME OUT?!

So here is an example of the insanity of this man. I'm still trying to figure out if its a power trip thing or if he is just insanely picky. I'm leaning towards the first...

So on our menu we have a Jerk Chicken Caesar salad. Its basically a Caesar with Jamaican Jerk sauce marinated chicken in it. Here is his order...

"I want the salad chopped and tossed with extra Parmesan,no croutons, i want the chicken on a separate plate with extra jerk sauce not touching the chicken, i want it on a different plate. I also want a side of onion rings with wasabi mayo but i want the mayo in a monkey dish and i want a separate dish of just wasabi powder".

For Christ's sake dude would u like me to bring you an apron and show you where the kitchen is so you can make it yourself?! AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
The best part is watching him mixing it all together and basically ending up with the same bloody salad that was originally on the menu!
I mean look, LA is infamous for people substituting every single thing on the menu but this man takes it to a whole other level! At the end of the day its a diner and its fast paced, by the time I've taken this insane order I'm now backed up 5 tables with angry people waiting for me.
Thanks PornLord.